Tag Archives: disappointment

What-to-Do-if-He-is-Cheating

The Real Reason Why Men & Women Cheat

“Why do men cheat? Because it’s something that they can be successful at when they are feeling unsuccessful at most other things in life.” – Yehuda Berg

I have read numerous articles about why men cheat when the truth is women cheat as well. Now when I speak in regards to “cheating”, I am speaking in regards to those who deceitfully and sneakily go behind their partners backs to entertain and be entertained by another individual.

Keeping in mind that some people are sexually ambitious and prefer an open relationship, or sort of an open relationship (Swinging etc.), those who choose that kind of lifestyle are open about it because they have a different perception. This is an honest approach to the lifestyle one chooses and technically should not be considered cheating.

Let’s define the term cheating. Some of you may or may not agree and that is okay. So I will make it clear that to some peoples standards and perception, cheating is not only the act of physically or sexually involving yourself with another person. For some people, cheating can also be emotional. Cheating is seeking romantic attention by involving yourself with another person unrelated to your partner behind his or her back.  Either way, it is the dishonest part of sharing your vulnerabilities or attention somewhere else romantically that makes it cheating.

So why do we do it? Why do men and women alike become dissatisfied, bored, or curious about the external places to give them happiness? What is it about seeking outside of our personal lives, potentially betraying our sacred loved ones, to find satisfaction elsewhere? What is the REAL reason both men and women cheat? And more importantly, how do we handle it?

The Problem Is Never YOU:  No matter how many articles you read Many people are out of touch with their inner Light, their inner happiness, their peace of mind. We make it a habit to feed our egos by seeking compliments to feel desired. When we have an innate desire to feel good about ourselves we seek acceptance from external sources because we don’t feel adequate or happy with ourselves. Most of us are in a constant state of judgement. Judgement against the world and judgement towards ourselves. We train ourselves to love others and make others happy without looking within, instead of loving ourselves. A person who has not yet discovered how to love and accept themselves, those who are not happy with their path, those who aren’t happy with themselves or their place in life will cheat on you.  It is important to know that this is the NUMBER 1 reason why men and women cheat and this is also why we must NEVER take cheating personally. Even if your partner gets caught or deceives you even more by making you feel that it is your fault for them stepping outside of you, never believe them for they are projecting their insecurities onto you and will only receive temporary satisfaction based on egotistical reasons instead of long term spiritual success. Is that the kind of relationship you want anyway?

To Help us with our thoughts on being committed and faithful, we should…

Always Be Grateful For What You Have: We tend to get complacent, stuck between desire and something we are used to having. Once we no longer have it we start to get those feelings of desire again. It is important to count your blessings if you have something good.  Try to remember why you had those amazing feelings for your partner and try to do exciting things with them. Don’t allow complacency to take over making you for the urge for something different. If you feel like the spark is gone, make sure you bring this up with your partner to try new things. A date jar perhaps is a creative way to do things you love together. Feel free to make it spicy and fun. Try dedicating once a week to go out on a date if possible.

 

Don’t Stay Discouraged

 

Forward NOLAHave you ever been disappointed to the point of feeling defeated?

Naturally, we all have experienced sadness when we feel let down.  Although there is a universal rule not to have any expectations, we expect to get what we want, we expect to get what we feel we deserve. Some of us think negatively and don’t expect anything good. My advice is; forget the expectation!

Instead of expecting specific things we should think confidently that we will receive what our true intentions are. We should wish for the biggest goal in mind. Some of us wish for a specific person to marry, a specific company to be employed by, a specific place to travel to. My suggestion is to think happiness with your ideal partner, happiness with your ideal work environment, and happiness with your ideal adventure or journey.

Whatever your personal circumstance is remember these things:

1. When you feel discouraged, feel it. Shed a few tears if you must, accept your feelings and then think differently

2.  Most disappointments are beyond our understanding and usually for something greater. Don’t stay discouraged.

3. Let  go of thinking that because you didn’t get exactly what you wanted, you won’t get something greater in the long run.

4. Master detachment and use positive affirmations. The more you practice this, the more you will make this a habit. All you have to do is, let go of the disappointment of not getting exactly what you desired and instead say or write down that what you desire lies in a different opportunity that you aren’t aware of yet. By doing this you are detaching yourself from what you felt rejected or let down by, and you are speaking into existence in a confident manner that the Universe is preparing you for something greater.

5. Write down everything you are grateful for and then ask for confidence.

You don’t need to feel inadequate or unlucky. Everything happens for a reason and there is something more suited to your intentions. I didn’t always know this. I didn’t always believe this. I can truly say, I am happy for all of my past disappointments and even my current ones for I continue to get exactly what I need.

Don’t stay discouraged and remember, when life gives you lemons…