Tag Archives: detachment


Why Mastering Detachment Is Good For The Soul

“Don’t cling to things because everything is impermanent.” 

― Mitch Albom

Creation is such a marvelous thing. Especially when it comes to human nature and all that becomes of our lives. Everyone in life, regardless of good or bad intentions, misguidances, pain, happiness, confusion, history, present, or future, we can all count on one thing… Love, belonging, and seeing things go. Many of us from birth experience someone caring for us without us doing anything in return. We grow and we are loved. As time passes, we learn independence; what it means to do things for ourselves, surviving a physical life, like all forms of life, which will seize to exist one day. 

Life as we discover, is about connecting and relating to other people, animals, and even material things. We relate to others like us, discover who we are and what interests us, and we grow apart, change environments, switch careers, fall out of love, and witness people passing away. Life is a feeling process that can become confusing and hurtful but also full of happiness and excitement with each transition. 

When becoming so connected to our creation and learning to be in love with our relationships with people in the world or the good emotions we feel, how do we disconnect? And more importantly, how do we get used to being okay with disconnecting?

Here are some ways to learn how to detach. Practice makes the master. 

1. Confidence: What helps me worry less about what I think I may have lost, (whether it be a job opportunity or a companion), I remind myself that the Universe is working in my favor, that everything is okay, and that everything I have asked for, whatever my intentions are, I will be receiving all great things. No matter what happens, I know that my life is continuously be set up for better experiences, ones that I never even fathomed. 

2. Expect Nothing: One of the trickiest most common emotions in attachment are expectations. We expect things to be a certain way with others as well as ourselves. We put pressure and get emotionally attached to outcomes when expecting things to play out a certain way. We must LET GO OF ALL OUR EXPECTATIONS. Love has no expectations. Love just exists with no conditions and respects all circumstances. If you remind yourself this while loving yourself, this will be the second step to allowing things to play out the way they need to while maintaining peace within yourself. 

3. Let Go Of Control: Most people who are assertive have a need to know what is going to happen and how. This is why intuitive and clairvoyant physics have successful businesses. People want to know what is happening and what will happen. Breathe deeply, remember that everything is beautiful and good and if it hurts or is frustrating now, it will only be so temporarily. Not everything is under our control and that is okay. Don’t carry that burden. 

4. Understanding Life and The Universe: We all know one thing for sure, we don’t know everything and new things are discovered everyday. The ocean is too deep to explore, there are billions of life forms we have yet discovered, we are made of the same components of stars, and we live in the Milkyway Galaxy which is a small part of the Multi Universe in which we exist. Wow, who is to say that once our body gives up, our soul does also? Death perhaps isn’t what we think, and maybe nothing really is. Heaven or Hell, may very well be in the mind. There is something about believing in souls regenerating without the physical body that is calming. Losing people you love or seeing people pass away is always a sad and painful process. We naturally miss things we no longer have. That is because we are creatures of habit. Once you learn to adapt and remember all of the joy in all things and know it is not truly the end, it eases us into detaching. 

5. Don’t Hold Onto Conflict: Loving ourselves without constant judgment is always something to practice. People go through hard times and in turn, find it difficult to communicate respectfully. There is no need to think everything is about you. Take it easy on everyone including yourself. Mistakes are common, and not everyday will be a perfectly happy one. The more you let negative feelings and thoughts go, the easier it will become. Be accountable for your mistakes, love yourself and know that you are growing continuously, and don’t allow the actions or words of others make you feel less than amazing. 

Practice peace as often as you can. Everything is temporary which can bring both happy and sad emotions. Life is a constant journey and out of it flows a lot of beautiful and exciting things. Life is truly what we make it. So remember to let go often and choose to smile. Love yourself and others. 

And remember, when life gives you lemons…




How To Trust & Recognize True Friendships

A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow. – William Shakespeare

As we age we start to learn that most friendships don’t last forever. Even with all the later technology marketed as a tool for us to stay in touch with the world, we understand that we have our real friends and we have our internet friends. There are some people we click with and some people we don’t. No pun intended. As we meet new people from all walks of life throughout the years, some of them hurt us, disappoint us, betray us, and some of them stay close to us no matter if they live miles away. The truth is we are not all compatible with one another. In all relationships, we connect because we relate to one another in some form of fashion. As we grow, we change, and not everyone will change with us. This is totally okay and the sooner we understand this, the easier it will be to accept that we can’t hold onto all friendships we have made over the years. photo

Here are some things to consider about people & potential friendships:

Love has no expectations: In all situations, one should never expect anything from another person. Often times we naturally assume that people we are drawn to have the same intentions as we do. Rarely is that assumption ever true. We expect people to be loyal and have the same ideas we have but as individuals, we have different perspectives and different realities. Be sure to really get to know what drives and inspires someone before getting excited about their purpose in your life. Pay attention how they treat and speak to others. The less you expect, the easier it is to feel satisfied about the possibility without having them in your future.

Unconditional Love: True friends are unconditionally loving. Diversity is something that comes natural in friendship. No two people who connect will have all things in common. One friend can be excellent in finding a relationship while the other friend attracts all the wrong people. True friends will be there for one another no matter what flaws each other may have. No matter the circumstance, friendship is selflessly loving in an unconditional way.

Understanding: Did you know that love is a high degree of understanding? We may have our own ideas of what friendship is or what life means but wanting to understand takes strength, maturity, and real love. There will be plenty of times you won’t agree or see eye to eye with your friend and that is okay. However, having the intent to listen and understand where your friend is coming from makes room for growth and an everlasting bond. This also falls in line with forgiveness and acceptance.

Self Love & Loving Selflessly: If you could trust anyone who would it be? Maybe a parent, someone who is forever connected to you, but more often than not, we mainly trust ourselves. Why? Because we have our best interests at heart. We love ourselves. We put ourselves first. Loving yourself is a discovery that should be practiced and once you master self love, it enhances the way we love other people. It helps us love selflessly because we learn to take care of others as we would take care of ourselves. There is no jealousy, there is no competition, there is only love and a bond of people relating and being there for one another through thick and thin.

Trust takes time and so does friendship. Choose wisely and pay attention to who you are attracting in your life. Pay attention to the love they have for themselves, how they treat others,  or the journey they are taking to grow spiritually. Emotional intelligence is key for a thriving friendship. Some of us may grow apart, but there will always be those few who stick around forever. And Remember, When Life Gives You Lemons…

Learning to Let Go

letting go

“Detachment means letting go and non-attachment means simply letting it be.” – Stephen Levine: A Year to Live: How to Live This Year as If it Were Your Last

In the past, if I was hurt by something or fixed on wanting to change something out of my control, I would obsess over the situation for quite some time. Even then, I thought it was foolish of me to hold on to the same thoughts and concerns I’ve had for months. I understood there was absolutely no point in distressing myself with the anticipation of the outcomes in my immediate future. It was holding me back and making me depressed.

With the understanding that the universe was on my side I knew I needed to practice faith and detach from having the desires to control circumstances beyond my control. No one should worry about anything pertaining to their future. The only necessity is to problem solve and focus on the positive. Why fear the unknown and become doubtful? Negative emotions are dangerous to fill your mind with. These defeated emotions are current reflections on what we may go through but everyday changes and new opportunities arise. Love always heals us. Your grudges whether with yourself or with others will disappear and your anger will come to pass. We are all energy made up of the universe and we act accordingly. Some days we understand those around us and other times we are not in tune. It is not natural to feel happy everyday, but what we can do is exercise our thoughts. Thinking positive and letting go of sad thoughts will improve your life in the most amazing way. You create your world and it all starts with you.

My best advice is to Let Go. Be secure and confident that everything will work itself out. If not the way you desire it to, then for the better. Every loss opens new possibilities for growth because every loss initiates change. When we feel we have lost, we hurt because it is our emotional resistance to change. No matter how much we accept intellectually that we must go with the flow, if that flow separates us from what we love, our feelings say, “No!” You must never forget nothing is lost. Nothing will ever be lost. Everything that once happened still exists, has still made its impact and still will somewhere down the line.

By letting go, you are not losing something. Letting go is gaining everything. We are human beings who hold power, we bring about manifestations and miracles. Our minds are powerful and we all have gifts that can heal ourselves and others. You must know that you are a powerhouse and that mistakes do not define you nor anyone else walking this Earth. You must know that you can achieve success and that pure unconditional love heals everything and everyone. Letting go allows us to heal ourselves. We are responsible to be right within ourselves in order to be intuitive and guide ourselves into the places we want to be in. Self discipline is a necessity when trying to learn new things and get to a better place. You are in control of you, your environment and the things that will happen in your future. Let go and let God as they say. Everything always works itself out for the greater for us, especially when we choose better options for our future. Make things beautiful in your life by removing insecurites and worries about the future, talk to the Creator, and you will soon see changes manifest; First in your heart, then your being, then your environment and eventually you will start seeing the outcome in your everyday life. Change always comes about, especially when you’re not expecting it to. And remember, when life gives you lemons…