Monthly Archives: June 2014

Being Vulnerable

How The Courage To Be Vulnerable Can Change Your Life (VIDEO)

“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” – Brené Brown

Ever since I could remember, I’ve been an open book. Some people consider that to be a weakness. I’ve come across so many people who are “private”, people who don’t want to speak about who they are or what their experience has been in order to protect themselves from the opinions of others and perhaps even themselves. We live in a world where we desire to “fit in”, we want the people we love to be proud of us and we have so many distractions that we can barely digest our deepest emotions. We become lost in a world that is so distracted by perfection that we lack love and concern for our feelings and soon, we don’t know what it is we feel unless we can speak about it.

So how do we practice vulnerability? How do we learn how to be honest with ourselves instead of being correct? How do we take on the courage to be vulnerable with ourselves in order to feel safe to be open with others?

Have The Courage To Be Honest With Yourself: I am sure you’ve all heard the saying before, “The Truth Shall Set You Free” When you are accepting of your emotions and your fears only then can you truly over come them. If you don’t confront what it is you are feeling, you can’t address it. Try talking about your fears to someone you feel comfortable with, someone who you believe won’t judge you this way you can come to terms with the feelings you are having. This isn’t necessarily because you need advice, but because you want to understand the depth of what you are feeling. 

Take Nothing Personally: We live in a world where people judge themselves. It is hard to find a spiritually strong person who loves themselves and are honest with others. It is important to understand that how people may react to your vulnerabilities is a reflection of how they feel about themselves. One of my favorite authors, Don Miguel Ruiz said, “Don’t take anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”

Prepare yourself to have the strength to be comfortable with your vulnerabilities. We are human and function the same way. No amount of money or confidence can take away anyones vulnerabilities. As a poet, I find that when I read my poetry to an audience, I am allowing people to relate and in turn they thank me for saying things that they couldn’t say. We are all experiencing different things. All scary and courageous things. Perhaps if we all start to be vulnerable, it may give people the courage to be vulnerable too. But remember, even if they aren’t at that emotional level of maturity, do not take it personally.

Practice Being Vulnerable: The more you practice being your true self, the easier it will become. Being vulnerable doesn’t mean you have to tell everyone what you have been through, only the things that make you who you are. The things that you fear from time to time, and the things you’d like to discover in life. Be vulnerable in a positive way. 

Don’t miss this TED talk by Brené Brown. She is the author of Daring Greatly 

What would you like to get out of being vulnerable?

Doodle 4 Google doodle courtesy of 11-year-old Audrey Zhang

This 11 Year Old Doodler Won a $30,000 Scholarship From Google

“To make the world a better place, I invented a transformative water purifier. It takes in dirty and polluted water from rivers, lakes, and even oceans, then massively transforms the water into clean, safe and sanitary water, when humans and animals drink this water, they will live a healthier life.” – Audrey Zhang

Thanks to Google’s 7th annual Doodle 4 Google Competition, Audrey Zhang, an 11-year-old girl from New York now has money to fund her college.

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Google asked children from grades K-12, to draw an invention that would make the world a better place. Google received over 100,000 submissions and chose 250 state finalists, 50 state winners, and 5 national age group winners.

Google offered Audrey the chance to spend a day with some animators to turn her doodle into a moving animation. The moving image shows can be seen on Google’s Home Page todayAs the animator and director for her project, she took the reigns on describing how she wanted the water to look and added a little imagination by adding ideas. Her inspiration comes from a novel she is currently writing.  

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After she completed the project, Audrey flew back to New York with the $30,000 college scholarship and $50,000 Google for Education technology grant for her school. Google was so inspired by her doodle, they decided to donate $20,000 in her name to a water charity in Bangladesh dedicated to providing clean water for their schools.

Doodle 4 Google is an amazing event that takes place annually. Many students compete year after year showing true perseverance and determination. This year, Audrey’s perseverance granted her a new experience, scholarships, and inspiration to pursue her future goals.

Congratulations to every Doodle 4 Google Winner!

mike king best son surprises dad

An Amazing Son Surprises His Dad With A Promise Made Since 8 Years Old

When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry. – William Shakespeare

We all wish we could give back to the people who love us, especially our parents. Well this good son, Mike King, at the age of 8 was promising his old man something awesomely amazing. He knew his old man could only dream of having it. Take a look to see the reaction of the father and the son’s surprise.

Mike King has a “Go Fund me page” to accept donations for the maintenance of the car. The car doesn’t run well right now and he plans on giving these donations to his father.

Here is what Mike King had to say,

“Growing up my dad always dreamed of owning a 57 chevy bel-air. He grew up poor in a family of 7 children. He never thought he would be able to own his dream vehicle but would talk about it all the time. 

When I was 8 years old I promised him that on his 57th birthday I would buy him a 57 bel-air. I never forgot and was able to fulfill my promise.

Here is his reaction.

Explanation on what he was doing. One of our cornhole boards was broken and we were trying to rig it to stay up, while he was occupied I opened my garage to show the vehicle. He was too intent on fixing the board that he didn’t notice the garage opening which took my sister saying “theres something we can fix it with in the garage, there”.

Also when he states thats the one you have been showing me, that is because I had been,I had showed him pictures of the Bel air. (I have had it for over 2 years waiting to give it to him) We would talk about older vehicles so to gauge how much he would enjoy it etc I would show him pictures of it from the listing I found. He would get so excited and talk about owning something like that but that he “knew her never would be able to.”

What exciting things do you have planned for your father this father’s day??

1957 Chevy

Enjoy-Being-Alone

How To Enjoy Being Alone

It’s an interesting combination: Having a great fear of being alone, and having a desperate need for solitude and the solitary experience. That’s always been a tug of war for me. – Jodie Foster

 

Being alone can be difficult to those who are extroverted and love talking to people and sharing thoughts. Some people really have a difficult time with being alone and will ask someone to accompany them when doing short tasks like picking up groceries, picking up laundry, or grabbing take out. Since we are born we have to be watched, we need love, we need communion, and we continue to grow in social environments like school. It is even politically frowned upon to not have a spouse. It is in our culture and our society that make us feel uncomfortable to be alone. Of course this may be different for the introverts. They yearn the need to be alone with their thoughts, to have the freedom to do as they please.

Have you ever wondered why you are afraid to be alone? Why do we feel lonely when we don’t have company? Further more, why when we don’t have enough downtime alone, do we wish we were by ourselves?

Here are a few things I think can change your attitude about having some successful, happy, fulfilling, downtime:

It’s Healthy & Satisfying To Spend Time With Yourself – Studies show that most people stay in bad relationships because they are afraid to be alone. Being single doesn’t mean you are alone. It means you are open to possibilities of getting to know different people and possibly one day leading into a committed relationship, or not, it depends on what you are into. Spending time alone allows us to self reflect and pay attention to our needs, desires, and thoughts. It is healthy to digest the day and grow from things we experience. 

Enjoy YOU – I think it is important to be your own best friend. Yes, we need others and real best friends but I think it is equally important to enjoy the way you think, the things you love, and really take the time to do what makes YOU happy. I think we can over think loneliness and boredom, making us uncomfortable spending time by ourselves. If you don’t think you’re fun, why should anyone else think you are?

Pick Hobbies To Do Alone – If you love writing, bring a book with you to a public place. Pick up an instrument, attend a concert, roller blade, learn a language, or try something completely new. You’ll be surprised how exciting your own company can be and what new thoughts you will gain. 

Here is a Poem written by Tanya Davis. The video below is a recorded version of this poem that may make you see being alone in a different light. 

HOW TO BE ALONE by Tanya Davis

If you are at first lonely, be patient. If you’ve not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren’t okay with it, then just wait. You’ll find it’s fine to be alone once you’re embracing it.

We could start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library. Where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books. You’re not supposed to talk much anyway so it’s safe there.

There’s also the gym. If you’re shy you could hang out with yourself in mirrors, you could put headphones in (guitar stroke). 

And there’s public transportation, because we all gotta go places. 

And there’s prayer and meditation. No one will think less if you’re hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.

Start simple. Things you may have previously (electric guitar plucking) based on your avoid being alone principals. 

The lunch counter. Where you will be surrounded by chow-downers. Employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town and so they — like you — will be alone.

Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone. 

When you are comfortable with eat lunch and run, take yourself out for dinner. A restaurant with linen and silverware. You’re no less intriguing a person when you’re eating solo dessert to cleaning the whipped cream from the dish with your finger. In fact some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.

Go to the movies. Where it is dark and soothing. Alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community. 
And then, take yourself out dancing to a club where no one knows you. Stand on the outside of the floor till the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one’s watching…because, they’re probably not. And, if they are, assume it is with best of human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats is, after all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you’re sweating, and beads of perspiration remind you of life’s best things, down your back like a brook of blessings.

Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you.
Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, there’re always statues to talk to and benches made for sitting give strangers a shared existence if only for a minute and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversations you get in by sitting alone on benches might’ve never happened had you not been there by yourself

Society is afraid of alonedom, like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements, like people must have problems if, after a while, nobody is dating them. but lonely is a freedom that breaths easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it.

You could stand, swathed by groups and mobs or hold hands with your partner, look both further and farther for the endless quest for company. But no one’s in your head and by the time you translate your thoughts, some essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept. 

Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those sappy slogans from preschool over to high school’s groaning were tokens for holding the lonely at bay. Cuz if you’re happy in your head than solitude is blessed and alone is okay.

It’s okay if no one believes like you. All experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can’t think like you, for this be releived, keeps things interesting lifes magic things in reach. 

And it doesn’t mean you’re not connected, that communitie’s not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it. take silence and respect it. if you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it. if your family doesn’t get you, or religious sect is not meant for you, don’t obsess about it. 

you could be in an instant surrounded if you needed it
If your heart is bleeding make the best of it 
There is heat in freezing, be a testament.