At a young age we are taught to control ourselves. We are taught to behave, speak, eat and do things a certain way. This cultivates who we become. As the years go by we practice these methods we were taught and in turn, we desire to control other people and or situations around us.
In the past I realized I wanted control what others thought. I wanted to permeate the minds of my loved ones and convince them why, thinking like me or understanding me better, can help them and our relationships. Now when I failed in my many attempts to persuade, I noticed it ate me alive inside. “How and why can’t things go my way”, I repeatedly thought to myself. I became angry, hopeless, frustrated, sad, and depressed. It was then, inside my mind and heart, I knew I do not and will never have the ability to control people or the world around me. Nor should I have any desire to do that. To love is to respect and enjoy or understand the way others think. I am only in control of myself. My actions, my behavior, my environment. Even this can be a difficult task in the end.
After all these years of practicing control how can we un-learn and teach ourselves a new perspective on life? Well, I have some suggestions, good ones.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
- Do you get frustrated, sad, or depressed when things don’t go your way?
- Do you really believe that you can control others opinions, thoughts, and feelings?
- Will you have a hard time trying not to convince someone how to behave, think, or speak?
- Will you learn to accept and appreciate other people for who they are?
Communicating and expression is an essential part of human relation. Yes, we can share words of wisdom and personal beliefs and preferences with others. However, the outcome of people understanding us at the same level or agreeing with us may not always be reached overnight or at all. There is something special about us all. We all have different perspectives and experiences. Besides, if you truly have a problem with the way someone chooses to live their life you have the option to have that person in your life. It is healthier to be content with yourself instead of putting stress on a person or situation. We tend to grow after going through a series of experiences. Our experience allows us to get to the next level of thinking. Therefore, we should respect other peoples progress of growth.
Everyone finds their own way and all we can do is love them; even if loving them from a distance is healthier for us. Relationships are about relating to one another. No one two persons are exactly alike. The sooner we accept this, the happier we will become.
And remember, when life gives you lemons…